Jane Coates, the film The Secret Garden, and her family’s memory jar

I was inspired by Nathan’s reviews and comments on the films that he has been watching with the children to write the following piece. Sorry Nathan- I do not want to steal your thunder!

The story of The Secret Garden, by Frances Burnett, described as a ‘pastoral story of ‘self-healing’, is a children’s classic and has now just been turned into a new film version. In this story, the main character, Mary Lennox, 10 years old, is sent back to the UK from India after the death of her parents to cholera. She is cared for by her maternal uncle at Misselthwaite Manor, Yorkshire, and his young son, Colin. Mary uncovers the secret garden that belonged to the late wife of her uncle, her mother’s sister. Mary had always believed that her mother had no time for her and did not love her, until she discovered some hidden letters written by her mother to the sister and found photographs of the two sisters in the secret garden. The letters transform Mary’s understanding of her mother and make it clear to her that her mother loved her very much.

Watching the film made me consider our grandson Sam and his knowledge of his mum and dad. Richard, Sam’s dad died when Sam had just reached his 5th birthday and had started in Reception at school. Consequently, his memories of his dad can be sometimes sketchy. At Richard’s funeral  friends and contacts from around the world were asked to contribute to a ‘Jar of Memories’ for Charlotte and Sam.

Inside the jar there must be over 150 personal letters, often with photographs which portray a very clear picture of the kind of man that Richard was. At every mealtime Sam has been selecting out three or so letters that we read out together. This has helped Sam to learn more of the character, strengths, passions, travels, Christian faith, loves, careers and sheer devotion of his dad to Charlotte and to himself and to Jesus His Lord. It has enabled Sam to see his dad more clearly. Many of the stories and memories are very funny and very personal. We have laughed and sometimes been very teary as we have read the memories.

When Charlotte died only a year after Richard, we asked for friends and contacts to do the same for Sam so that he had a jar of memories of his mum and we kept the cards that were given to us at that time. So, we have plenty of material that will keep us going for quite some time. Wonderful memories.

This made me think again about that phrase “an observable love”. Richard’s passions were obvious and clear for all to see – his family, walking, mountain biking, camping in Scotland, the Lake District and Wales, photography and his Christian family. People spoke of his enthusiastic faith and witness and his sharing of that faith naturally and openly to anyone he contacted. He spoke about Jesus to all who would listen. He gossiped the gospel.

The beautiful phrase, ‘an observable love’, comes from a book by Francis Schaeffer who wrote many books such as Escape from Reason and The Mark of a Christian. This is how we are to be known and this is how Jesus is to be known.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13.v 34

I believe that Richard and Charlotte had an ‘observable love” and they have gone to join that Hall of Faith in Heaven.

Jane Coates

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